- Mood:
That last entry was a bit emotional, wasn't it? I'm better now and have been since probably the day after I posted it. It was the Labyrinth to the rescue, but not before some full-strength, woe is me moping. He made a few Things Aren't As Bad As They Seem comments, hoping to make me feel better but I told him where to go with them. Not harshly, of course. We're never harsh with each other. But I had to explain to him that when I feel down making little of the down is only going to make me feel more down because it makes me feel even more alone in my madness and shows me that it's all too true that it's Mad Little Me against the Whole Fucking World.
So he understood and apologised and acknowledged the down and instantly I felt better. Coz that's all I needed, someone to validate the seriousness of my sadness. Which is crap, coz I shouldn't need anyone to validate my anything, but obviously I'm not quite that evolved yet so at this point in time I will allow myself to have this human weakness.
Me Against the World IS my down. Nobody should feel like such a freak of nature. But it only takes one other person's understanding to cancel it out, coz then it's Us Two Against the World and that's awesome.
Of course the original cause of the down was money, or rather my complete lack of it. Coz you can't operate in the modern world without money and in order to get money you have to play a pointless, pointless game. Get a job doing some shit that only perpuates the degradation of the soul in order to feed, clothe and shelter yourself so you can stay alive and keep contributing to the slow, painful death of the planet and all its inhabitants.
It's just not me.
Anyways, I gotta go.
k.
12 Sucker Punch(es).
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