I'm having a crisis of faith. It's a very difficult time for me. It's perhaps not the best time to try to quit smoking. I've been through this kind of thing before, probably many times. I dwell on things too much and overcomplicate them and wind up tying myself in knots. It's not that it doesn't make sense. It makes perfect sense, but I find myself asking What's the Point? at crucial times. What's the point of coming here if all we want is to get back there? What's the point of coming here to experience all this if we're only gonna spend all our lives trying not to experience it? The Labyrinth says I may have 60 to 70 years to go and it's likely an answer will pop up during that time. I think perhaps it can't be explained in words or a mathematical equation, which would hint that it's of the divine and not the relative. What am I talking about? Of course it's of the divine. That's where we come from. That's where the plan is hatched. I used to be able to feel it. I didn't have to ask why because I could feel why. And now it's like I've been excommunicated, which is really quite funny. But because I still have faith (even if I don't feel faithful) I will carry on as before though perhaps a little quieter, a little humbler, and wait for whatever it is I'm waiting for to fall out of the sky.

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